As I’m sitting and waiting in “The Common” a new and quaint little coffee shop in Gloucester NSW. Chocolate milkshake is the order of the day and it is sliding down with incredible ease, but not without some guilt! I don’t usually write about what I’m eating at a café and I certainly won’t be boring you with a milkshake selfie! So why mention the milkshake? Three weeks ago, I began a 30-day, sugar free zone. The problem is that I didn’t get into ‘the zone’ so well, and I was wondering why… The deeper feeling apart from some stressful situations was, “I am missing out;” rarely do I indulge in a café experience since moving out of Sydney but it is an experience that I thoroughly enjoy, today I indulged and ooooh the momentary bliss!
For the past few weeks I’ve been mulling the concept of ‘missing out’ over and over in my mind and asking myself what I feel like I’m missing out on. With my not so recent tree change three years ago, some necessary and desired changes took place 1. Quitting the coffee habit 2. Eating more from my garden and home baking
- Reducing unnecessary shopping and utilizing and prioritising Opp shopping over other stores and using recycled items around my house and garden. These changes have been so easy for me to implement and own since I really do have more than enough and definitely all that I need; and yet the thing I struggle with is sugar; it’s in almost everything.
The world promotes fear of ‘MISSING OUT;’ and therefore it beckons us to accumulate; to self-protect, to play it safe and to live a life of comfort, ease and convenience – hello sugar!
We live in a consumeristic world and whilst it’s exciting and lovely to have new things, there are objective and subjective reflections to consider. The obvious accumulative items are possessions/things, money and experiences to cover up for our inadequacies and limitations or give us that fix to get us through the moment or make us feel important. The world tells us that we don’t have enough and we need more and more and more. The subjective side to this which we’re not told about is that the external accumulation brings with it internal accumulation and these things are the silent killers: stress, depression, anxiety, more fear, sadness, emptiness, loneliness and illness to name a few.
It’s the biggest lie since the beginning of time as we know it;
“WE’RE BEING DEPRIVED.”
As a child I grew up on a farm just outside of the idyllic Byron Bay, and my family were not rich, so I grew up watching the town kids showing off their latest gadgets or brand clothing. I often felt like I was missing out, but as I grew up I realised that I was richer than most of those kids put together since I had everything that I needed and then some, plus things they didn’t have, like the love of my whole extended family and regular get-togethers, a horse, boundaries, respect and spacious living and all that comes with that.
Children today, are rarely afforded the opportunity to understand that having every material object will never bring them happiness or satisfaction. They are often bombarded with the latest toys, gadgets, technology and parental attention on demand, to keep them quiet.
Breaking it down to the reality of cause and effect, common sense shows us that having a sense of personal boundaries in fact protects us from accumulating loneliness, poverty, physical illness and mental illness of all kinds of proportions.
To protect ourselves from our fear of missing out, we get sucked in hook, line and sinker and purchase things that we don’t necessarily need such as: insurances, new clothes, stocks, bonds, houses, cars, entertainment and drugs (of your choice), all to distract ourselves from the possibility of finding peace and contentment within ourselves, right where we are; because of course we NEED these things.
We all want to belong and we were designed to belong, but this thought doesn’t usually run in the forefront of our minds to warn us when the temptations present themselves; hence unsuspecting…. we fall prey and add to our collections of ‘stuff.’
If you don’t have the latest stuff, not only are you not cool but you don’t belong in our group or you are ignorant or weird or different.
The question of the day is “DO YOU HAVE STUFF, OR DOES STUFF HAVE YOU?” Who would we be without unnecessary stuff? And what would life be like without most of those things? Most people will never know because they’re addicted to their stuff and too afraid to find out who they would or could be, without it all, in case they miss out.
Can you periodically turn off the volume to the call of the world and fast from your addictions? I succeeded 2.5 weeks this time. Maybe next time I’ll make the 30 days, for now I shot for the moon and landed among the stars anyway; a good start for summer.
Where are you on the spectrum? Are you afraid of the you that you don’t know? Can you stand in the middle of a crowd and be comfortable with who you are, without holding a coffee, cigarette, can of beer or some kind of twitching of your hands; standing calm and quiet just observing and listening for some time, and be comfortable and confident in who you are? Do you need stuff to feel comfortable? Can you allow yourself such silence and/or space, to listen to your heart or the heart of the community and deal with what comes up, or let life open up and discover something new?
Life Coaching can help you identify and resolve difficult issues and help you achieve your life goals. Curiosity and courage are for the brave who want more out of life and are willing to do what it takes. Is that you?
To land among the stars, and step into the season of summer feeling like ‘you’ve got this!’ Pick up the phone now and give Christine a call, spare yourself 20 minutes and together she will empower you to live the life you’ve always wanted and to let go of unnecessary physical and emotional clutter.
M: 0484 787 300